Until the Morning
by A Tragic Galaxy
Summary: "I won't leave you, until..."  Tsunade finds it difficult to cope with Dan's death, until he visits her one last time.


** Slightly off from the real story, since I liked the idea of Dan and Tsunade marrying before his death.**

** .. . .. .. .. .. .. .. . .. .**

Tsunade stood numbly in the pouring rain, watching as the coffin was lowered into the ground. She barely registered the words being spoken, so overwhelming was her grief.

"Kato Dan was one of the finest shinobi of our village. His death is a loss to all, but his life will not be forgotten. He selflessly gave his all for Konohagakure, and his sacrifice will always be remembered..."

_Words. _Tsunade's face twisted in bitter sorrow. Words, that was all they were. What use was the appraisal of a man's life if he was no longer alive? The eulogy spoke of Dan's courage, his love for his village, and his honor even in death. They warmed the hearts of the onlookers and brought a semblence of pride to those listening... but they couldn't bring Dan back.

_I won't..._

Soon enough those attending the funeral would forget the events of this day as they busied themselves with their own lives. The poetic words used to describe Dan's heroism would fade away, and one day disappear altogether from the minds of the people. But Tsunade would never forget. She could never lose that wrenching pain in her soul, that empty space in her very being that one man had been able to fill. Dan was gone forever. The village would forget this day, but every minute was etched into her own heart.

The dirt fell onto the coffin with a hollow thud, and it was everything Tsunade could do to hold herself back. She wanted to scream, to cry out to the skies that Dan was still with her. But he wasn't. The soggy ground filling the hole finalized her beloved's death. Dan would never return to her.

_I won't leave..._

Then the music played, soft and sorrowful. Tsunade was the first at the grave, a simple white rose being her offering to the one she loved most in the world.

"_White is the color of serenity, is in not, Dan?"_ she spoke inwardly. _"It is the color of purity, of simple beauty. Of peace. Was that not what you wanted?"_ Fresh tears streaked down her face. _"You lived for peace. Fought for it. Died for it. Was it a lost cause, Dan? Is there peace, now that you're gone? Was it for nothing at all?"_

Harsh sobs errupted from Tsunade, threatening to grow into hysteria. Falling to her knees, she ran her hands through her hair and pulled at the strands.

"Dan, you can't go! I need you!" Her voice was ragged with her screams of denial.

_I won't leave you..._

Then someone was lifting her up, guiding her away from the gravestone. Tsunade followed numbly, unable to face the reality of what had happened. Jiraiya's voice was soothing as he guided her home.

"Easy, Princess. You're going to be all right."

No, she wasn't, she wasn't! Tsunade wanted to scream, to pound her fists against him. How could he say that when Dan was gone forever? Nothing would ever be all right!

"Calm down, Tsunade." The voice was as quiet and serene as the lake resort Tsunade and Dan had visited on their honeymoon. Tsunade couldn't stand Jiraiya using such a tone at a moment like this.

_I won't leave you until..._

"Leave me alone!" she cried out with a broken sob as she tore away from Jiraiya.

Jiraiya's eyes were soft with compassion and he let her walk away. He didn't leave Tsunade's side, however, as she stumbled through the streets.

"This way, Princess," Jiraiya guided his former teammate to her own home.

Tsunade didn't want to go in. She and Dan had purchased the home as newlyweds. It was empty without Dan. It wasn't right for her to be there without him. But Jiraiya was insistant as he took her keys and led her into the main room. Gently he guided her towards the couch and made her sit down.

"Wait here," Jiraiya insisted as he went towards the kitchen.

Tsunade curled up in a tight ball and continued to cry her heart out. She knew she was endangering her health, but she couldn't stop. There was too much pain to let her forget.

_I won't leave you, Tsunade..._

"Tsunade, that's enough." Jiraiya's voice was strict as he lifted her up and pressed a mug of tea in her hands.

Tsunade shook her head and sobbed harder, furious at his callousness. Couldn't he see the pain she was going through? _Oh, Dan, where are you when I need you most?_

"Tsunade!" Jiraiya shook her slightly, his gaze fierce with concern.

Tsunade gulped another sob, startled enough to break free of her hysteria.

Jiraiya sighed and leaned back, his face downcast. "I know you're going through a lot," he said as he pulled a box of tissues from its hiding place under the couch and handed it to Tsunade. "But if you don't calm down you'll make yourself sick."

"Oh, Jiraiya, what do I do?" Tsunade moaned as she blew her nose and choked back another sob. "I miss him so much!"

_I won't leave you, Tsunade, until..._

"Don't lose yourself during this time," Jiraiya said quietly. "You're strong, Tsunade. You always have been. Now is the time to utilize that strength. Dan would have wanted you to."

"It doesn't seem right, going on without Dan," Tsunade whispered as she watched the rain patter against the window.

_I won't leave you, Tsunade, until I..._

"Nor will it ever be," Jiraiya nodded. "But you _have_ to do it, Tsunade. If only for his memory."

Tsunade knew Jiraiya was using his last resort to convince her to move past her grief, but he was right. Dan would never want her to waste away because of his death.

_"Oh, Dan! Can you see me now? Will you be able to look on and watch me as I go on? Will you ever know how much I miss you?"_

_ I won't leave you, Tsunade, until I put..._

Tsunade's grief didn't fade when she finally went to bed. It was three o'clock in the morning, but she couldn't sleep. For the first night in almost a year, she was alone. The empty space where Dan used to lie seemed to swallow her. Rolling over to his side of the bed, Tsunade gathered the pillows and buried her face in them. She could still smell his scent in them. She could feel his presence, as though he had never left. Crying openly, Tsunade squeezed her eyes shut and mourned the love she would never find again.

_"Didn't I promise you, Tsunade?"_

Tsunade's eyes opened wide, her mind flashing back to the night of her beloved's death.

_Dan's torso was covered in blood, his body trembling as he struggled to breath. Tsunade screamed for him to stay awake, her hopes dashing to pieces as her healing took no effect on the massive wound._

_ "Dan, stay with me! You need to stay awake!"_

_ "Tsunade..." His eyes were sorrowful as he gazed at her. His pain was not for himself, however... but for her._

_ "Dan, don't look at me like that! You're going to be all right!"_

_ "Tsunade..." _

_ Weak as he was, Dan reached up and gently grasped her hand. Tears flowed openly down Tsunade's cheeks as he tried to speak._

_ "I... I won't leave you, Tsunade," he gasped, fighting for his last moments. The peace in his eyes was uncanny. Tsunade couldn't understand it. Dan smiled softly, squeezing her hand softly and pulling it forward towards his heart._

_ "I won't... leave you... Tsunade, until... until I put your hand... in Jesus' own."_

_ Dan's smile was radient, his features inexplicably calm as his eyes closed for the final time._

Suddenly Tsunade saw him again, standing as lifelike as though he had never died. She cried out and leapt to her feet in hope and wonder. Dan's face shone like a small sun as he took her hand again. Tsunade's heart filled with joy at seeing her beloved again, but the feeling was overpowered as he stepped aside to reveal someone standing behind him. Tsunade took one look at the One and felt the world fade around her.

She could see the overwhelming love in the man's eyes as she fell at His feet. Compassionate, forgiving, loving. He grasped her shoulders gently, raising her up once more. Tsunade felt her fear and sorrow flee as she gazed into His eyes. Inexplicable peace and joy cascaded around her as she stared into His fathomless gaze. Then Dan drew her hand over and placed it in the hand of the One standing before her. Sobs coursed through Tsunade again as she fell against Him and cried out her heartbreak for Dan. She felt His arms wrap around her, comforting her as she so desperately needed. He held her until her sobs quieted and she found the courage to smile. Dan was still there, watching with that beautiful peaceful expression on his face. This time, Tsunade felt she could echo it.

"We will see each other again," Dan whispered as he squeezed her hand one last time. "Until the morning, my love." Then he looked to the One and nodded. "I'm ready."

The light encompassed them both and the vision disappeared. Tsunade fell back onto the bed, her tears dried on her face. An ache still remained in her heart, but she could feel the warm, enveloping presence of the One who loved her more than she could ever imagine.

"Thank you," she whispered to the night air as she fingered her hand. She could still feel His tenderness as His hand grasped her own. Staring out into the night sky, she pictured her Dan in the beautiful city above the stars. A place where no pain, sorrow, or tire of life would ever come to him again.

"Until the morning, Dan," Tsunade echoed his words. "I will see you again."

. .. .. . .. .. . .. . .. ..

_"When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as though dead. Then He placed His right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hell."_

_ - Revelation 1 : 17-18_


End file.
